Lighten up
I don’t like it when I see an old person and then realize we went to high school together. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes — so she hugged me. My wife says I [Read More…]
I don’t like it when I see an old person and then realize we went to high school together. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes — so she hugged me. My wife says I [Read More…]
Do airlines plan in advance that the person who will sit in front of you will wish to recline his seat as far back as possible, the person next to you will be smelly and [Read More…]
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to [Read More…]
If the speed of light is 186,000 miles per second, what is the speed of dark? Why do ships have portholes but not starboard holes? Do you recall when calling one a politician was not [Read More…]
Excerpts from Live and Learn and Pass It On, by H. Jackson Brown The following thoughts have often been attributed to Andy Rooney, the 60 Minutes commentator known for his wry, humorous and contentious television [Read More…]
My wife really does not like to take me shopping. No wonder; shopping makes me miserable. And when I am miserable, I make everyone else miserable as well. Either we are spending money or we [Read More…]
This morning I was reading my tube of toothpaste. It said, “For best results, squeeze tube from the bottom and flatten as you go up.” I am trying to imagine the person who did not [Read More…]
If the speed of light is 186,000 miles per second, what is the speed of dark? Why do ships have portholes but not starboard holes? Who decided that all aircraft carriers’ islands are on the [Read More…]
Lexophilia is a form of addiction to describe those who are obsessively enamored of words, especially in a new framework. Anyone with this condition is a lexophile. Here is an example: “You can tune a [Read More…]
Right after our son was born, a maternity ward nurse came in to say she was there to fill out the birth certificate. She asked what we planned to name our baby. We told her, [Read More…]
In the old days, you know, B.C. (before computers), newspapers had typesetters. If they needed to fill in a page of print, those guys would often insert little articles, maybe an inch or two in [Read More…]
A lexophile is a person who has a love of wordplay, such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish,” or “to write with a broken pencil is pointless” and the following: [Read More…]
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