What happens if you find the job and romantic partner of your dreams in the same place? This is not an uncommon scenario. Logic and reality indicate that we tend to find romantic connections where we spend most of our time. The reality is that we spend the most waking hours in our workplace community.
According to the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM), workplace romances have increased since the pandemic. One-third of U.S. employees are currently involved or have been romantically involved with a co-worker, up from the 27 percent who reported workplace romances before the public health crisis. Sometimes, these relationships lead to marriage. One recent study revealed that 43 percent of workplace romances transitioned to marriage.
Forbes Advisor led a recent study on 2,000 employed Americans that provided the following revelations:
- 57 percent report workplace relationships have impacted their work performance.
- 43 percent have married someone they worked with.
- 35 percent don’t report their relationship to their employer.
- 40 percent have cheated on their current partner with a coworker.
- 50 percent report flirting with their co-workers.
Since it is a reality that romantic relationships will always happen in the workplace, how can companies help couples preserve their personal lives in the workplace and protect themselves at the same time? Do you encourage them to keep things quiet and fist bump whenever they want to kiss or show any affection? On a more useful level, here are some tips from HR (Human Resources) and legal professionals:
Do’s and don’ts for HR
DO have a formal policy, and make sure employees are aware of it. It can be included in the employee handbook, onboarding sessions, sexual-harassment training or, ideally, all three.
DO tailor your policy to the office culture (a family-owned business might have looser rules than a large, hierarchical company, for example), but always require disclosure to HR of a romantic relationship.
DO encourage open communication so relationships aren’t driven underground.
DO document everything, whether it’s a formal acknowledgment of a relationship or evidence in company communications of a relationship. If a relationship goes sour and someone alleges harassment, your lawyer will thank you.
DO consider a “love contract” that formally acknowledges the relationship and terms of office behavior. It can protect the company but also make people more reluctant to disclose if it means putting it in writing.
DON’T try to ban intra-office romances. It’s unrealistic — people do meet at work — and it will just lead to lying and deception.
DON’T permit relationships between a supervisor and a direct report. Consider whether peers should be working on the same team if they are romantically involved. Members of a couple should not have a direct impact on each other’s work.
DON’T permit hand-holding or other obvious public displays of affection at the office.
(Susan Milligan, 2022, Workplace Romance is on the Rise, SHRM)
Where there are people, there will be romantic connections, even in the workplace community. When companies provide clearly enforced policies, resources and tips, employees can feel supported and thrive in their workplace and personal lives. Equally important, companies can function effectively without concern for legal ramifications through knowing that policies and procedures are in place with clear guidance for workplace couples.
Ron J. Clark, MPP is a partner with LEADwell LLC. He can be reached at info@leadwell.agency or 757-873-1610.
