“Lexophile” describes one who has a love for words and word play, such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish,” or “to write with a broken pencil is pointless.”
An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original phrase that a lexophile would love. Here are some of the nominations with the winning submission posted at the very end.
- No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
- I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
- Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
- When chemists die, they barium.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
- I changed my iPad’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
- Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
- This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivore.
- A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
- When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
- I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.
- A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
- With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
- Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
- Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
- A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.
- The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.
- He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
- When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.
- Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.
- Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
Submitted by a friend of a friend who is into words and their meanings.