Lexophilia is a form of addiction to describe those who are obsessively enamored of words, especially in a new framework. Anyone with this condition is a lexophile. Here is an example: “You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.”
The New York Times, known for publishing all the news that’s fit to print and focusing on emerging trends and interests, holds an annual competition. This year’s submissions:
- I changed my iPad’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
- England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
- Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
- This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivore.
- I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
- A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
- I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.
- A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
- A will is a dead giveaway.
- With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
- Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
- Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
- A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.
- The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.
- He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
- When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.
- Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.
- I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
- Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
- When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
- When chemists die, they barium.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
- To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
- Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
Submitted by a friend of a friend who is into words and their meanings.