Making shopping fun

Pointless

My wife really does not like to take me shopping. No wonder; shopping makes me miserable. And when I am miserable, I make everyone else miserable as well. Either we are spending money or we are merely looking at items we cannot afford. (Even worse: we end up spending money on something we cannot afford.) What fun is that? Well, my wife suggests I try to make it more fun while shopping. So, I have come up with some ideas that just might make that happen:

  • Ask a store clerk if she has any scruples. If she tells you that she needs to ask her manager, then say, “Then you probably do not have any.”
  • Go to a thrift shop and pick up the chintziest, ugliest, cheapest item you can find. Then ask the clerk for their gift-wrapping department.
  • In a hardware store, tell them you need just one thumb tack.
  • At a garden center, pick up a bag of grass seed. Ask if they have it in any other colors.
  • Tell a butcher, “I am new at being a vegan. Do you have some beef that was only grass-fed?”
  • Go into a car dealership with a Halloween mask on top of your head and a paper bag in your hand. Ask if they will make an all-cash deal. 
  • In a florist shop, tell them you want to order five sets of a dozen roses and say you want the card on each to read, “To my one and only.” (Then ask if they do discounts for bulk purchases.)
  • In a supermarket, give people tickets for reckless driving with their grocery carts.
  • Pretend to be a greeter at a big box store. 

Is there any question why my wife dislikes shopping with me? 

About Stan Glasofer 19 Articles
Stan Glasofer passed away in October 2020. He left us with several columns we are proud to share with our readers.

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