By Veronica Weymouth, Weymouth Funeral Home & Crematory
It’s never too late to plan ahead. If I told you one of the best gifts you can give your family is preplanning your own funeral you may say that’s a bit morbid. In reality, it’s a true gift. Although difficult to discuss your own demise, it’s ultimately in your family’s best interests to deal openly with funeral arrangements. Preplanning avoids any misunderstandings during the survivors’ emotional stress following their loved ones’ death.
There have been so many times we’ve seen adult children come together for the arrangement conference at the funeral home to discuss their mother’s or father’s final wishes, and all have been told distinctively different requests. “Mom told me she wanted to be cremated and scattered in the Outer Banks.” “Mom told me she wanted an open casket and to be buried next to her parents.” It can be an emotional seesaw for families and lead to unnecessary conflict.
Just like choosing your doctor or your lawyer, it’s wise to choose a funeral home in advance and preplan. Some folks simply want to get their wishes down on paper. You can decide ahead of time whether you’d like a traditional funeral, a memorial service, a celebration of life, burial and/or cremation and reception/repass or no services at all. You can specify your funeral arrangements to the smallest detail, including special songs or a specific piece of clothing.
So many services today are very personalized and meaningful. What makes those services so unique are the details. We had a gentleman tell us all he wanted at his funeral was a New Orleans jazz band to play “When the Saints Go Marching In.” This was not conveyed to his daughters, but it was to us. When they learned of his request, all they could do was smile. The service was uniquely his.
Talk with a funeral director to discuss options and outline the expense required for your plan. Seek a funeral home that will provide you with helpful information to organize your personal and financial information (such as vital statistics, biographical information, will, account information, military benefits and other important documents). This data will assist your survivors. Written instructions can be maintained until they are needed.
Another option is prefinancing or pre-paying, allowing you more control of your funeral expenses, preventing your family from possibly overspending during an emotional time. By law, the money you’ve spent planning your funeral will be deposited in an insurance policy where it grows over time until needed to cover expenses.
Prefinancing offers these advantages:
- A preplanned funeral is an exempt asset when applying for Medicaid, 55I benefits, federal bankruptcy or nursing home care.
- Your plan can be transferred if you move to another city or state.
- Excess monies after your funeral will be returned to your named beneficiaries.
Most importantly, make sure your loved ones know you’ve planned and with whom.
Planning your funeral is just as important as planning for any of life’s other milestones or rituals. You and your family will have peace of mind and less stress later. And YES, it is a gift.
Veronica Weymouth is owner of Weymouth Funeral Home and can be reached at weymouthfh@aol.com or 757-930-2222.
