I don’t like it when I see an old person and then realize we went to high school together.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes — so she hugged me.
My wife says I only have two faults: I don’t listen and something else….
I thought growing old would take longer.
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons.
The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”
Life is too short to waste time matching socks.
My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffers from mental illness. I said, “No, we all seem to enjoy it.”
I really don’t mind getting old, but my body is having a major fit.
The world’s best antidepressant has four legs, a wagging tail and comes with unconditional love.
Love is how excited your dog gets when you come home.
I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.
If you’re happy and you still know it, it’s your meds.
Submitted by an Oyster Pointer reader
